The sure-fire, 100% money back guaranteed, unbeatable, super duper top-secret guide to selling your memoir!

Just kidding! ANYONE that tries to sell you this type of shit is a hack and a snake oil salesman and you should tell them to fuck right off. There is no guaranteed way, but here's how I sold mine.

  Aloha to all of you beautiful people who have kicked down your hard earned cash to become paid subscribers. I am currently somewhere outside Philadelphia, getting ready to head over to the Monster Mania Convention, which should be interesting! As promised, this is the first article that will be behind the paywall for y’all— the book proposal that sold my first book, Dark Days. As I mentioned at the end of my last article, it is VERY LONG— the proposal itself is 10,311 words to be precise. Don’t worry, not everything will be this long… I promise… maybe. BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

No, seriously, I’ll restrain myself in the future.

  There is no strict template for writing a book proposal, but when I first started working on Dark Days, my agent Marc sent me two to look at by other clients of his to get a feel for what one may look like. One was the proposal for a book called Fresh Off the Boat by Eddie Huang, the other was for Insatiable: Porn- A Love Story by Asa Akira.