Seasick riffs while at sea with 2,000 psychopaths.

I'm totally exhausted and I caught a nasty cold, but fuck it all and damn the torpedoes, it was well worth it.

  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity to a girl wearing a Kermit the Frog mask,” he said.

  Wait, hold up— what?

  “Yeah, it wasn’t good, dude...”

  That was just one of the many, many hilarious things I heard last week, a week I spent on the sold out Headbangers Boat cruise sailing from Miami to the Dominican Republic and back with…